miércoles, 30 de noviembre de 2016

Burritos Orwellianos

 El miedo de las masas es la herramienta del tirano

El ofrecimiento de seguridad es su mentira

A cambio te vigilan, te controlan, te censuran

Te despedazan si no obedeces

La gente que tiene miedo QUIERE ser esclavizada - lo he visto con mis propios ojos... en más de una forma...

Se valiente...


martes, 29 de noviembre de 2016


No puedes escribir el número 6 y al mismo tiempo mover la pierna en el sentido de las manecillas del reloj...


El plan para asesinar a Castro

* El plan de la CIA para asesinar a Castro por edad avanzada al fin funcionó...

* Este último Black Friday los pants en Amazon tenían precios para morirse - y bueno...

* Una cosa sí es cierta: Castro logró vivir más tiempo que la democracia en Estados Unidos...

* A decir verdad, la verdadera causa de la muerte del ComaAndante fue la ironía: Eres el líder de un país cuyos principales productos son los habanos y el ron... y que te los prohíba el doctor... para qué quieres seguir viviendo...

* De ahora en adelante, el Black Friday será conocido como "Día de Súper Ventas en Memoria de Fidel Castro (Abierto hasta media noche)"


lunes, 28 de noviembre de 2016

Obsolescencia planeada

La obsolescencia planeada de estos días

ya es muy descarada...

No es coincidencia que tú tengas más de un teléfono en esa gaveta...

Tú crees que así son las cosas, qué es la "evolución de la tecnología"?

Piénsalo otra vez...

Y si no te importa la carga para el planeta

seguramente te importará la carga en tu bolsillo...


domingo, 27 de noviembre de 2016

Cult Of Personality - Living Colour

Look in my eyes, what do you see?
The cult of personality
I know your anger, I know your dreams
I've been everything you want to be
I'm the cult of personality

Like Mussolini and Kennedy
I'm the cult of personality
The cult of personality
The cult of personality

Neon lights, Nobel Prize
When a mirror speaks, the reflection lies
You won't have to follow me
Only you can set me free

I sell the things you need to be
I'm the smiling face on your TV
I'm the cult of personality
I exploit you, still you love me
I tell you one and one makes three
I'm the cult of personality

Like Joseph Stalin and Gandhi
I'm the cult of personality
The cult of personality
The cult of personality

Neon lights, a Nobel Prize
When a leader speaks, that leader dies
You won't have to follow me
Only you can set you free

You gave me fortune
You gave me fame
You gave me power in your God's name
I'm every person you need to be
I'm the cult of personality


sábado, 26 de noviembre de 2016

Proverbios 11:10

En el bien de los justos la ciudad se alegra, mas cuando los impíos perecen hay fiesta


jueves, 24 de noviembre de 2016

Los tatuajes no se quitan nunca. Tampoco lo mula.

Pasaron tres años y finalmente me alcanzó la noticia

—por circunstancias puramente accidentales—

de que cierta cuasi celebridad que no se nombrará nunca en este blog se hizo este tatuaje

1 - 9 - 7 - 5

y sus amiguitos sin mucho pensar dijeron "SIIII nosotros también!"

Aparentemente quisieron representar en números romanos una fecha, pero todos los que asistieron al colegio aunque sea por un corto tiempo saben que

Estiloso sí - pero en esencia, muy mula. (Hay que admitir que si lo vemos desapasionadamente, todas esas sumas y restas eran mucho pedir...)

En fin...

Francamente, ignoraba esta noticia que ya es de dominio planetario... y lamento profundamente haberme enterado... pero quedarse callado es deshonrar la memoria de los antiguos Romanos...

Lo único bueno que queda de este naufragio mental es una lección que nunca deben olvidar:

Niños, estudien...


sábado, 19 de noviembre de 2016

miércoles, 16 de noviembre de 2016


Los anuncios son vectores de ataques

Se gastan mi ancho de banda

Y en general no traen nada bueno

Que bien que hayas notado que uso Adblock...

Don't play the guilty card on me because fuck you


domingo, 13 de noviembre de 2016

Revocation of Independence

To the citizens of the United States of America, in light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II resumes monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.

Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.8% of you who have, until now, been unaware there's a world outside your borders) will appoint a Minister for America. Congress and the Senate are disbanded. A questionnaire circulated next year will determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid your transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. Look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Check "aluminium" in the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you pronounce it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour'. Likewise you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary."

Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed." There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you should not have chat shows.

2. There is no such thing as "U.S. English." We'll let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u'.

3. You should learn to distinguish English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). Scottish dramas such as 'Taggart' will no longer be broadcast with subtitles.You must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon." If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1.

5. You should stop playing American "football." There's only one kind of football. What you call American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.1% of you aware there is a world outside your borders may have noticed no one else plays "American" football. You should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls.

Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies).

You should stop playing baseball. It's not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders," which is baseball without fancy team stripe, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

6. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns, or anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because you are not sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you need a permit to carry a vegetable peeler.

7. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday. It will be called "Indecisive Day."

8. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left. At the same time, you will go metric without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

9. Learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't French, they're Belgian though 97.8% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat.

10. The cold tasteless stuff you call beer is actually lager. Only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer." Substances once known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine," except for the product of the American Budweiser company which will be called "Weak Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine." This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

11. The UK will harmonise petrol prices (or "Gasoline," as you will be permitted to keep calling it) for those of the former USA, adopting UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon, get used to it).

12. Learn to resolve personal issues without guns, lawyers or therapists. That you need many lawyers and therapists shows you're not adult enough to be independent. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

13. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

14. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your co-operation.


miércoles, 9 de noviembre de 2016

martes, 8 de noviembre de 2016

Democracia fallida

Tan sólo el hecho de que exista un Jimmy Morales

un Baldizón

un Maduro

un Trump

un Ortega

debería ser una bandera roja para los que creen...

Por mi parte, me negaré siempre a que me imponga un presidente alguien que no tenga mejor ortografía que yo...


miércoles, 2 de noviembre de 2016

Hear your haters, but pay them no mind

Hate is a by-product of fear

and it will call your name at the most vulnerable of moments

Take a message.

It's not what you're called, it's what you answer to that matters