jueves, 1 de diciembre de 2011

Bridesmaids - I'm life and I'm going to bite you in the ass!


*Annie is watching "Cast Away" on TV*

Chuck Noland: Wilson!

*Chuck Noland is in the water watching how Wilson floats away*

Chuck Noland: Wilson! I'm sorry!... I'm sorry, Wilson.

Chuck Noland: Wilson, I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

Annie: *sniffling* Oh, no, Wilson.

Chuck Noland: Wilson!!!!

*knocking on door*

*Annie opens the door and finds Megan*

Megan: I'm coming in.

*Megan enters the house with a bunch of puppy dogs*

Megan: Let's go, let's go. And we're walking. Okay, we're walking. Heel. Heel! No pee. No! Not on the carpet! Okay, we're coming... We're coming in...

*She takes all the puppies to the back porch*

Megan: Everybody is in and having fun. We're having fun. And heel! We're heeling. Heel!

Annie: How many of those did you take?

Megan: I took nine. I took nine. Yeah, I did slightly over-commit to the whole dog thing. It turns out, I'm probably more comfortable with six. It's a lot... That's a lot of energy to deal with... but you wouldn't know anything about that, because you haven't been returning my calls.

Annie: And say what, Megan? Say, "Hi, I can't get off the couch, I got fired from my job. I got kicked out of my apartment, I can't pay any of my bills, my car is a piece of shit, I don't have any friends, the last time I..."

Megan: You know what I find interesting about that, Annie? It's interesting to me that you have absolutely no friends. You know why it's interesting? Here's a friend standing directly in front of you, trying to talk to you. And you choose to talk about the fact that you don't have any friends.

Annie: You know what I mean.

Megan: No, I don't think you want any help. I think you want to have a little pity party.

*Megan hits Annie*

Annie: Ow! That's not true.

Megan: I think Annie wants a little pity party.

*Megan pushes Annie forcefully*

Megan: You're an asshole, Annie!

Annie: Oh, my God. What are you doing?

Megan: You're an asshole. I'm life. is life bothering you?

*Megan pushes Annie again*

Annie: Yes! What are you doing?

Megan: I'm life, Annie. I'm life, Annie. You have got to fight back on life.

Annie: Megan!

Megan: You better learn to fight.

*Megan hits Annie several times*

Annie: Megan!

Megan: I'm life and I'm going to bite you in the ass!

*well, Megan bites Annie in the butt*

Annie: *screaming* OWW!!! MEGAN!!

Megan: It's not me. I'm your life. Turn over!

Annie: My God!

*now Megan is on top of Annie, fighting in the couch*

Megan: I'm trying to get you to fight for your shitty life, and you won't do it! You just won't do it.

Annie: Stop it.

Megan: You stop slapping yourself. Stop slapping yourself. I'm your life, Annie. I'm your shitty...

*Annie slaps Megan hard in the face*

Megan: *grunts* OW!

*the fight stops*

Annie: I'm sorry.

Megan: Nice hit. All right. I'm glad to see you've got a little bit of spark in you. I knew that Annie was in there somewhere. I think... I think you're ready now to hear a little story about a girl. A girl named Megan. A girl named Megan that didn't have a very good time in high school. I'm referring to myself when I say "Megan." It's me, Megan.

Annie: Yeah, I got that.

Megan: I know you look at me now and think, "Boy, she must have breezed through high school." Not the case, Annie. No, *points to herself* this was not easy going up and down the halls. Okay? They used to try to blow me up. They threw firecrackers at my head. Firecrackers. I mean literally. I'm not saying that figuratively. I got firecrackers thrown at my head. They called me a freak.

Do you think I let that break me? Do you think I went home to my mommy, crying, "I don't have any friends. Megan doesn't have any friends" No, I did not. You know what I did?

I pulled myself up, I studied really hard.

I read every book in the library. And now? I work for the government. I have the highest possible security clearance. Don't repeat that!

Annie: I won't.

Megan: I can't protect you. I know where all the nukes are and I know the codes.

Annie: I won't say anything.

Megan: You would be amazed. A lot of shopping malls. Don't repeat that!

Annie: I won't.

Megan: I have six houses. I bought an 18-wheeler a couple of months ago just because I could.

Okay, you lost Lillian. You got another best friend sitting right in front of you, if you would notice. Huh?

Now, you got to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Okay, 'cause I do not associate with people that blame the world for their problems.

'Cause you're your problem, Annie. And you're also your solution.

Right? I mean, that's... You get that?

Annie: I just miss her, I guess.

Megan: Yeah, I know you do. I know you do.

All right, come on. Bring it in.

*They hug*

Megan: There's the Annie... There's the Annie I knew was there, okay? All right. Man, you have got to wash your hair.

Annie: I'm sorry.

Megan: You've got to wash that hair.







* * *

Viejas peleando

hehehehe

Esta es una de esas cosas... que te hacen sentir mejor después de verlas. Y lo mejor de todo es que termina como deberían terminar todo siempre: con un abrazo (vi mucho Full House de chiquito)

Ya sé lo que estás pensando, cómo es que a un tipo duro y machote como yo le gustan este tipo de películas? Pues... , confieso mi secreto y qué: me fascinan las comedias romanticas, los abrazos, los besos, los diálogos y hablar de nuestros sentimientos mientras tomamos cocoa caliente metidos entre las chamarras.

Pero... y a quién no?


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